In my neighborhood we have an email list that comes in handy for getting the news out about a lost dog, when you have something for sale, the neighborhood teenage car break-in ring, and other various odds and ends. Or if you want to pontificate.
Yes, there’s always one who ruins it for everyone else.
And we have one on our email list.
His name is Peorge (I’ve changed his name to protect his anonymity. But his new name sounds strangely similar to his actual name. I don’t know why this is…probably coincidence.)
Peorge is a pontificator. I’m sure that Peorge is a decent human being, but he’s begun to annoy me. His main point of pontification lately has been spewing his political viewpoint about our local school district costs, teachers’ union, and upcoming school levy.
Needless to say, this is a sensitive subject with many differing opinions and probably best not discussed on a neighborhood email list.
But that doesn’t deter Peorge. Peorge thinks that if he spews enough information from his point of view that all of the neighbors will come to their senses.
So imagine my surprise when Peorge’s last email was lighter fare. Apparently Peorge’s pumpkin was stolen from his front porch.
I guess that Peorge wanted to warn the neighborhood about the sinister ring of pumpkin thieves.
Peorge said that while he hated to sound like a curmudgeon (thank you Peorge, I couldn’t have come up with a better vocabulary word to describe you), and even though he was certain that this was an act of teenage tomfoolery, he was so upset by this theft that he didn’t think he was going to buy a new pumpkin.
(Yes, he really did say this in an email to the entire neighborhood! Well, he didn’t use the term “teenage tomfoolery” – that was my special embellishment – but all the rest is true! I didn’t copy & paste his quote exactly, because Peorge is probably the type to google his own words and if he finds this blog post, he might begin an email campaign to run me out of he neighborhood!)
One of the neighbors took the words right out of my email when she bravely clicked “Reply All” and wrote, “Are you serious?”
Yes, my dear neighbor, he is all too serious. Pranks can be hurtful!
So, to restore Peorge’s faith in humanity, I think everyone in the neighborhood should deliver their pumpkins to Peorge’s yard to show him just how much we care!
Off to deliver my pumpkin…
I LOVE this.
Omg, you live in one of “those” neighborhoods where pumpkins are gold. I lived in one of those neighbhorhoods once. Two of my neighbors were arguing and it ended with one commenting on the other’s “pound” dog (her’s was full-blooded lab. Them’s fightin’ words.
Prandi, it’s funny & strange, but you remind me of my friend Brandi! Weird.
Yes, I do live in one of those neighborhoods. Hence the reason I don’t want Peorge on to me. Frankly, with the state of my yard, including the flower bed that is populated with what I consider native varietals but others may consider weeds, I’m surprised I’m not already on his to do list. Nor do I want him to awaken the great sleeping giant, also known as our homeowner’s association.
Just delivered mine this evening. Just kidding, but sure is fun to think about!
Pelanie, are you my sister’s evil twin?
Seriously, we *need* to deliver our pumpkins under the cloak of darkness. Wouldn’t mind delivering that phallic symbol of a gourd that’s on your front porch too!